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Dream BIG, & Live LARGE
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Help me become more fit on Fitbit.com
Sunday, June 8, 2014
A small update
Wow! It's been nearly two month since I last updated! In those two months so much has happened. I am now home from my freshman year at college, I've been painting my room, I've been babysitting 3 days a week, catching up on my health care and self improvements, and even managing to spend a god deal of time in the sun!
My freshman year at Becker was spectacular! I love Becker and I've met so many amazing people. Actually some of the amazing people that I met actually graduated this year. RayRay was among one of the awesome people I met. He was my orientation leader last June and I enjoyed being around his positive and caring personality and his care for others! He is really going to be going places! I wish I had more time to get to know him better. Another one of the awesome people I met was Melissa. Actually in the beginning of the first semester I met with my adviser who had told me a little about Melissa and how she was among the first group of Becker Britsionarys, and that said I sorta reminder her of Melissa. Later on in the semester my boss at the Library had mentioned some work that Melissa has done. Eventually I reached out to Melissa and decided to talk to her about what major she would recommend for me or just to really talk about options. It was really great! Melissa actually got her dream job at BE Like Brit! I'm THRILLED for her.
As well as meeting some seniors who are going to be moving mountains, I made some really stunning friends. Unfortunately a few of them may not becoming back to Becker next year due to financial reasons :(
Along with all the new friends I made I also managed to finished my second semester with passing all of my classes. Normally this news would be more about having super amazing grades but after this was a tough semester I am just thrilled that I don't have to re-take any classes!
In addition to finishing my Freshman year my room is in the process from going from green and blue to fairy tale blue and grey! Though I did enjoy my fun colored room, I felt that it was time to tone it down a bit. Pictures to come!
Lastly I've been working with a family in Morristown. The family is one of my favorites. They have twin 12 month olds and I love love love watching them grow and learn. I love talking with the parents and they are raising two great and beautiful children!
I guess there may be a little bit more to update on but for now.......
I'll for those of you who actually do read my blog, I'll leave you with some of my 100Daysof Happiness and 100DaysofThankfulness photos
As well as meeting some seniors who are going to be moving mountains, I made some really stunning friends. Unfortunately a few of them may not becoming back to Becker next year due to financial reasons :(
Along with all the new friends I made I also managed to finished my second semester with passing all of my classes. Normally this news would be more about having super amazing grades but after this was a tough semester I am just thrilled that I don't have to re-take any classes!
In addition to finishing my Freshman year my room is in the process from going from green and blue to fairy tale blue and grey! Though I did enjoy my fun colored room, I felt that it was time to tone it down a bit. Pictures to come!
Lastly I've been working with a family in Morristown. The family is one of my favorites. They have twin 12 month olds and I love love love watching them grow and learn. I love talking with the parents and they are raising two great and beautiful children!
I guess there may be a little bit more to update on but for now.......
I'll for those of you who actually do read my blog, I'll leave you with some of my 100Daysof Happiness and 100DaysofThankfulness photos
| Puppy Kisses! |
| Been working on my self improvement |
| Visited Char Char |
| Got My Haiti Shirt! |
| Spent Time With my Cousins |
| fostered my first kitten |
| Babysat these cuties |
| played on the playground! |
| Spent the weekend with my Nana & Poppop |
| Finished my Freshman year! |
| Perfect Handsand on Ridgevale Beach CC |
| Studied in CC |
| and Made S'mores of course! |
| created out own twister game! |
| Colored like children! |
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Guilt
Guilt [gilt]- noun- a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc. whether real
real or imagined: She felt guilt for affiliation.
"Hard though it may be to accept, remember that guilt is sometimes a friendly internal voice reminding you that you're messing up."
Guilt it is a feeling that EVERYONE who is normal will feel at some point rather it is to the extreme of murdering someone or on the small (but still horrible feeling) of hurting someone's feelings. I'd say about 70% of the time guilt is something that is the result of something YOU personally ACCIDENTALLY did. 15% is probably about the amount of guilt felt from doing something then feeling guilty afterwards because you didn't think "it" through or you thought the reaction would be different. Lastly I'd say the last 15% is caused by something you intentionally did, but you don't regret it however you still feel bad (kindly like when you decide to put a dog to sleep).
Most people when feeling guilt will say "I am sorry." However hasn't that lost meaning over the years? It is something that I myself catch myself saying on a regular basis. However what does SORRY mean to you? I've always taken it as "I didn't mean to do that," or "I shouldn't have done that," or "I wasn't thinking when I did that it won't happen again." After saying sorry the subject has always been dropped, however does the feeling really go away after the routine "I'm sorry" is said?? Does the person apologizing stop feeling bad? Does the person who is being apologized to forget this feelings? I think the picture above really brings back meaning into the word "Sorry."I personally relate to this quote because no matter how simple for the subject I typically always have guilt for longer than the moment I admit that "I'm sorry." Sometimes I even feel that I can say sorry all I want, but is that really going to make much of a difference?? Is that going to change what happened? Is that going to make things go back to normal? Is it going to stop the guilt I feel? The regret? The sympathy? Is it going to stop me from feeling bad? Like a horrible person? Like there is absolutely no way that you should forgive me?
NO! A "Sorry" does NOT take away feelings from Either party!
There are other times where I am hyper, crazy, and push people's buttons. You'd think that after enough times of doing this to the same person that I would learn the line, that I would learn when to stop. That I wouldn't cross the line, that I wouldn't keep the punch line going when I know that the person has had enough??? Was I thinking?
Yes, I was thinking, Yes I did think I was crossing the line. WHY did I keep it going??? Honestly I don't know. I wouldn't be able to tell you why. Time and time again I push my limit. Maybe it's because I just want to keep the fun going. Maybe because its the similar fun that we have all the time. Maybe it's because when I laugh I forget about all the bad that is going on around me forgetting that something I know when I'm not laughing is still bothering that person..... and honestly I feel the guilt as soon as I stop laughing. I have pain from worsening that person's pain and the pain of AGAIN letting that person down by not knowing when to stop. I truly feel sorry when I do that and I beat myself up all day and night, and for a while afterwards....It never truly goes away and if something reminds me what I did I'll again feel the guilt as strong as I did originally.
We all have flaws and not one person is perfect however, it doesn't mean we can't work on what we are bad at. I've been working on this problem. I've been trying my best but sometimes my best is failing. I know that's part of the learning processes but I get mad that I do it every time.
Tonight this post had to do with an incident that happened today, and honestly I am not so sure that person will even ever see this post. However if they do I want them to know that I am sorry. I am trying hard to work on this. No, I'm not going to blame it on being one of my flaws---There is nothing to blame it on, it was just me being a bad friend. I feel horrible and I know you need time to breathe, study, and take care of what needs to be taken care of, but know that I do LOVE you and you are truly one of my BEST friends in this crazy world we live in. Though I suck at times, though I give harsh advise, though I annoy the crap out of you, am a pain in your ass, make no sense at time, want to know everything, I love you and I never mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you and I feel so sick not only because I pushed you and hurt you but because I know before that that you are having it rough. I felt bad before this even happened just because I knew you were upset before hand. I am sorry. Accept it or not I don't care because I will have the guilt no matter what and you will feel the pain no matter what....but I still love you!
And to everyone else: Think about it...Are you sorry when you say sorry? What does it mean to you???
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Catch Up!
WOW! I can't believe I haven't posted on here since March 23rd. I guess it's safe to say that I have been incredibly busy, especially with classes these past few weeks.
I don't think I've ever had to focus so hard on two single classes ever! A&P and Clinical are really making me work hard. Along with those two classes I've also been sitting on 4 papers that are are due with in the next two weeks. But ehay I can't complain though at least I am fortunate enough to be getting an education! But I'm looking forwards to being home in 3 weeks!!!!
So here is a little of what I've been up (other than studying the last few weeks):
I spent a Thursday night in Worcester playing Bingo. There were some pretty gnarly prizes however I didn't win any of them, neither did Charlyn or Colby. However the night did result in Shamrock Shakes! And that right there is a win in itself.
Charlyn and I have also been spending a great deal of nights Dancing off stress, emotions, and calories. I actually beat her once, and she is a dancer!!!!


Charlyn, Nicole, Colby and I spent another night playing "Hall Ball" Nobody ever said not to play Ball in Lane Hall. Hall Ball is always good time! I spent April 5th at Be Like Brit's 2nd Annual Bowl for Brit Night! I had a blast! I got to spend the night with some of my crazy Britsionarys. I also got to meet a few other Britsionarys and a BUNCH of other people that Be Like Brit possible! It was a super special night!

I've been spending a lot of time working on my running. My Goal is to be able to run at a constant speed for 2 1/2 miles. Eventually I'll work it up higher to a 5k. The picture on the left is a friend I found and save one day on a jog.

In the little free time I've been heading to school Event. The first was a speaker where after we had dinner with raffles and I won a DICK'S gift card. Friday I attended Becker's Second Annual Spring Ball. It was so much fun. Again I won another gift card, this time to KHOL'S.

And lastly I've been enjoying this BEAUTIFUL weather with these CRAZY goons! Couldn't have asked for better friends!!!!
And Just in Case none of those photos made you SURI.....
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| This one is sure too!!! <33 counting the days until I'm back with Brit's Kids!!! |
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